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Yet another identity crisis...
Nov. 9th, 2006 05:39 pm...Man, it's been a hell of a week. I did get good news today, however; 92 on an Algebra test, woot! Anyway, Tech's been mean to me lately... if I didn't have my dream job (Costume assistant) I would have quit by now. Tuesday evening, I'm hanging out in the Theatre classroom, playing Drill Dozer (for lack of better things to do) and the makeup people have some new makeup they bought at Sally's, so they come up to me and ask, "Hey, mind if we practice on you?" Of course, I agree, being the nice person I am, so they work on me, foundation, eyeshadow, and all, and they get finished... Next thing I know, a friend of mine comes out and he's like, "OMG, Dawn! Are you wearing MAKE-UP?" So I say, real casually, "Yeah, the makeup crew was practicing on me," and some other people go, "You should wear makeup more often." I calmly explain to them I do once in a while, just more gothy/artsy stuff (white eyeshadow/red lipstick/silver glitter). They say "No, with foundation and everything. And lighter lipstick." (When one of the makeup girls mentioned lip gloss, I reached for a dark, wine shade, and she was all "No, no, too dark" Screw that.) The thing is, not only do I not have time for that crap, I can't STAND how foundation feels on me, and it all feels so unnatural. When I cosplay, everyone knows I'm pretending to be someone else, it's obvious... but foundation, bronzer and the like seems to only exist so that you pretend you're not pretending to be someone else, which it seems you are (what's foundation, after all, but basically a mask?)
Plus, the suggestion of "start wearing makeup" opened the door to other "self-improvement" suggestions... "straighten and cut your hair!" (actually, I've considered that anyway), "wear 'normal' clothes" (go to hell). Where do I draw the line?
So now I've got a problem. On the one hand, I could refuse to cave to pressure and be myself. On the other hand, I DID get a guy's attention once it was on, and this could solve my "no boyfriend" issues... but is it really worth sacrificing my individuality?
I hate being a teenager.
In happier things, meme time!
Plus, the suggestion of "start wearing makeup" opened the door to other "self-improvement" suggestions... "straighten and cut your hair!" (actually, I've considered that anyway), "wear 'normal' clothes" (go to hell). Where do I draw the line?
So now I've got a problem. On the one hand, I could refuse to cave to pressure and be myself. On the other hand, I DID get a guy's attention once it was on, and this could solve my "no boyfriend" issues... but is it really worth sacrificing my individuality?
I hate being a teenager.
In happier things, meme time!
( Meme time! )
