"Don't make me set Sneasel on you."

[rosejailmaiden]

So, I was roleplaying this morning...

Nekou's my big character in Black Rocket HQ, and she's kinda my baby... but I realized this morning, thinking about her in Fehring's class...

She's more than some fictional character I thought up for my fanfiction. Sometimes, I swear she's a real, living, breathing person. Yeah, she's based on me. But not in that way. More in the way of I sometimes feel like she's there. And I've got this one sketch I did when I was kinda depressed, and

she's trying to make me feel better... that's when I feel like she's there. Like she's saying "I've been through more hell than you could ever imagine, and I'm still here, right?" And when I write her in fanfiction, it doesn't feel like I'M writing her... it's like she's controlling what I'm writing, or something. Even though none of her world really exists (or does it?) And right now, she's like "Of COURSE I'm here!" I dream about her a lot, too... I'm watching her, and I feel really protective of her in those dreams. I had one once, where I was watching her in a battle, and she was pretty badly injured, and I wanted to protect her, but I wasn't really there... but she smiled at me, like she'd be okay.

It's really weird. Maybe if you love a character you create enough, she takes on a life of her own. Maybe it's like Niki on Heroes, and Nekou's another person altogether living inside me- only instead of living in a mirror when she's not out there, being me (and there are times I've felt she does that), she's inside my pencil, or my keyboard. Because the fanart and writing, when I write Nekou, is some of the most beautiful art and writing I've ever done, and I can't help but think she's helping me somehow just to make sure it turns out well. Only she's not going to lock me in a mirror/ keyboard/ pencil and try to kill one of my loved ones or get involved with the Mob. Since she already is kinda.

I know this is kinda a deep, weird post, but it just goes to show the power of writing, I guess.

Comments

[evil-raichu.livejournal.com]

Awww, cute pic!! It's interesting how we can get attached to the characters we create.

[nekusagi.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's not my best, but then, I was kinda drawing it through tears...

Pretty depressing, by my fanart standards.

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

I know and can empathize with the feeling. -pats-
It's a very nice feeling at times, though!

[nekusagi.livejournal.com]

You have an original character?

[twitchytwitch.livejournal.com]

Hah, several, but not fanfiction, but original fiction. I also get somewhat-disturbingly attatched to fictional characters I /didn't/ create but have played...