Trying to stay happy.
Apr. 9th, 2008 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
...Yeah. It's been hard for me lately.
I'm going through another one of those times, where I wonder if I can trust the people I call friends. I KNOW all of you reading this are more or less my friends, and you're pretty good people to me, but I've always had this great fear that I'm going to be abandoned again. It seems like every time I make friends, they somehow end up disappearing. I mean, I ended up crying like a baby at the end of Jirachi: Wish Maker when Jirachi left. And I'm not even a Max fan, far from it . But I was watching it, and I was like, "you know, that's what always happens to me". And now the only thing I can watch on that DVD is Gotta Dance, because at least it doesn't remind me how pathetic my life is.
I'm turning 19 in less than two weeks, and all I can do is keep worrying my friends are going to walk out on me again. And what does that say about how much I trust them, if I think they're just going to turn their backs on me and never talk to me again? I feel like a hypocrite too, because I just got off Yahoo Mail telling someone NOT TO worry. How can I tell someone that when I'm doing it myself?
Oh, and
evilazurill, I'm sorry if my bugging you about the roleplay is coming off as inconsiderate. I saw your LJ AFTER I made that RP post and felt like a massive loser afterward. I'm willing to put Black Rocket HQ on hiatus until you actually feel better, if that's what you want.
In happier news... I decided last night I'd give one of those crazy writers' month things a shot! Yes, I, Nekusagi, am going to attempt Script Frenzy!
No, I'm not crazy. And I realize how stupid it is for me to take up a challenge like this when I've got an English paper I'm behind on by 5 journals. But I want to write a script badly, even if I DON'T hit the necessary 100 pages. I've already got a few fanfiction-y scripts in mind, including one where Nekou meets up with (GASP!) Ash and Co. AND JJ&M. (Yes, Aubri, I know I said last night it was sacrilege to me, but I changed my mind.) That, and maybe an anime version of the Persian and Giovanni origin story, but beyond just Gio meeting up with him when he's a little kid. Everything up to now, reminiscence style. (Yes, I could write something, you know, original, but the field of scripts is one fanfiction needs more in. Also: I has no original ideas.) So... Anyone wanna join me?
Oh, and time to shamelessly plug a video game.
Lunar Knights.
Best DS game I've played for a while (until I get PMD2 for my birthday.) It's more or less a hack and slash along the lines of Castlevania where you kill monsters and level up... but it's an INTELLIGENT hack and slash. Seriously, all the boss characters are named after literary figures. There's a pair you fight early in the game and they're the Poe twins, and their names are Edgar and Virginia (Virginia was Edgar Allan Poe's wife), and a Baron Stoker (REALLY smart because he's a vampire) and the main villain Lucian wants to kill is named Dumas. And in the shooting stages, there's a craft called the Schrodinger and the pilot says "nyah" at the beginning of every stage and makes cat jokes when you defeat it (look up Schrodinger on Wikipedia if you don't get it.) Oh, and a cute black cat Terrenial with demon wings. And really pretty anime cutscenes. Really, I was looking EVERYWHERE for this game FOREVER and I finally found it last Friday at GameStop. It was worth the wait. Just try it, okay?
I'm going through another one of those times, where I wonder if I can trust the people I call friends. I KNOW all of you reading this are more or less my friends, and you're pretty good people to me, but I've always had this great fear that I'm going to be abandoned again. It seems like every time I make friends, they somehow end up disappearing. I mean, I ended up crying like a baby at the end of Jirachi: Wish Maker when Jirachi left. And I'm not even a Max fan, far from it . But I was watching it, and I was like, "you know, that's what always happens to me". And now the only thing I can watch on that DVD is Gotta Dance, because at least it doesn't remind me how pathetic my life is.
I'm turning 19 in less than two weeks, and all I can do is keep worrying my friends are going to walk out on me again. And what does that say about how much I trust them, if I think they're just going to turn their backs on me and never talk to me again? I feel like a hypocrite too, because I just got off Yahoo Mail telling someone NOT TO worry. How can I tell someone that when I'm doing it myself?
Oh, and
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
In happier news... I decided last night I'd give one of those crazy writers' month things a shot! Yes, I, Nekusagi, am going to attempt Script Frenzy!
No, I'm not crazy. And I realize how stupid it is for me to take up a challenge like this when I've got an English paper I'm behind on by 5 journals. But I want to write a script badly, even if I DON'T hit the necessary 100 pages. I've already got a few fanfiction-y scripts in mind, including one where Nekou meets up with (GASP!) Ash and Co. AND JJ&M. (Yes, Aubri, I know I said last night it was sacrilege to me, but I changed my mind.) That, and maybe an anime version of the Persian and Giovanni origin story, but beyond just Gio meeting up with him when he's a little kid. Everything up to now, reminiscence style. (Yes, I could write something, you know, original, but the field of scripts is one fanfiction needs more in. Also: I has no original ideas.) So... Anyone wanna join me?
Oh, and time to shamelessly plug a video game.
Lunar Knights.
Best DS game I've played for a while (until I get PMD2 for my birthday.) It's more or less a hack and slash along the lines of Castlevania where you kill monsters and level up... but it's an INTELLIGENT hack and slash. Seriously, all the boss characters are named after literary figures. There's a pair you fight early in the game and they're the Poe twins, and their names are Edgar and Virginia (Virginia was Edgar Allan Poe's wife), and a Baron Stoker (REALLY smart because he's a vampire) and the main villain Lucian wants to kill is named Dumas. And in the shooting stages, there's a craft called the Schrodinger and the pilot says "nyah" at the beginning of every stage and makes cat jokes when you defeat it (look up Schrodinger on Wikipedia if you don't get it.) Oh, and a cute black cat Terrenial with demon wings. And really pretty anime cutscenes. Really, I was looking EVERYWHERE for this game FOREVER and I finally found it last Friday at GameStop. It was worth the wait. Just try it, okay?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-09 03:40 pm (UTC)~Lily~
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Date: 2008-04-09 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-09 04:07 pm (UTC)I cry at the Jirachi movie, too. T_T
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Date: 2008-04-09 06:41 pm (UTC)I think that as soon as I can go home for summer break, my sanity will return. Don't worry.
BTW, why would your friends walk out on you when you turn 19? 19 is awesome. I'm 19.
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Date: 2008-04-09 07:18 pm (UTC)Yes. 19 is good.
And like I said in that email, I'm there if you need a shoulder to cry on.
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Date: 2008-04-10 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-10 03:42 pm (UTC)And wow, Nando. I didn't know you considered me a friend (especially considering we had that huge disagreement about SOVA so long ago what with the Veronica Taylor thing).
Guess us writers have to stick together.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-11 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-11 09:27 pm (UTC)But hey, it's behind us now as far as I'm concerned. I just thought it was interesting given we hadn't been on good terms in the past.